Volume Two deals with behaviour battles and Chapter One helps us discover from God’s Holy Word what we need to do if we want to be an even better husband. Here are my introductory words
‘On 6th September 2017, I read with horror the following statistic in my Tearfund prayer diary:
In the UK, two women die each week due to violence inflicted by their partners. In El Salvador, the figure is one woman every day. In Russia it’s one every hour whilst in the Ukraine one woman dies every 35 minutes due to violence inflicted by an intimate partner’. (Author’s emphasis).
This got me thinking… why are some men so violent towards those they love?
I am not a marriage guidance councillor, although my wife and I have helped couples with relational issues. I am not a psychologist or a psychiatrist so I have no answer based on any appropriate professional qualifications or training, but I have over 45 years of adult life experiences and a knowledge of the Bible, which has helped me understand why some people can resort to violence when they have relational difficulties.
The purpose of this chapter is to share with you what you can do to ensure you do not resort to violence, but learn the secrets of how to love your wife (if you are married) in a way that will enhance and fulfil your relationship to your mutual benefit.
I have discovered seven things which have not only helped improve my marriage, but actually kept Michele and I together when it might have seemed easier for one of us to walk away from the marriage. And before you fall into the trap of believing walking away is a good option, let me tell you it is NOT God’s option. God’s Word tells us that marriage is ‘a mystery (Ephesians chapter 5 verses 31 and 32) of two people becoming one flesh’ (See also Mark chapter 10 verse 8 and Matthew chapter 19 verse 5). How can you walk away from your ‘other half’ if God’s view is that you have become one flesh?
Furthermore, in Matthew chapter 19 verse 6 Jesus adds, “Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Doubtless, God knew that married men and women would not find it easy (in the natural), to stay together for life and so God’s Holy Word has some things to say to husbands about how God expects us to treat our wives. Now, because His ways are designed to be perfect for us, if we choose to follow God’s instructions, then it follows that obedience over these matters will inevitably lead to a better marriage. However, before we look at what Scripture says to help us, I want to begin by sharing with you the thoughts of three Christian men – Bob Gass, Paul Tripp and Gary Chapman.